Friday, November 1, 2013

Time to get the Nail Polish Remover out


For a few days now (read: weeks) I have had a routine of getting into the bath, looking at my toes, seeing the peeling nail polish and scolding myself for not removing my chipped nail polish. Every day I tell myself what a terrible woman I am and how ugly it must look and how I wish that I was one of those women who looked after myself better. And I resolve that when I get out of the bath I will go and find the nail polish remover. Every. Day.

Last week I went through the same routine and heard that gentle whisper that only comes from the Holy Spirit that said: Well, obviously it doesn't bother you enough to actually take action and follow through.

It was such a simple thing, but like a lightning bolt it hit me: As I went through my journal of the last 2 years I had noticed week after week the same sins cropping up (mostly comfort-eating), the same action plans to fight it, the same pleading prayers to release me and deliver me from them, the same verses I was writing out to memorise.

Why didn't I conquer those sins in my life? - It obviously didn't bother me enough to take action and follow through.

You see, comfort eating has become my guilty pleasure, my "not-as-bad-as-his-or-hers"-sin. Whenever I want to eat I forget all those grand plans and convince myself that I would resist it the next time and that I "deserve" it. And I grieve the Holy Spirit whom I had begged so many times to help me, by "Shhh!"-ing His still small voice.

So, are there any sins in your life that you are molly-coddling (indulging, pampering, treating).

I am back at square one and trusting God to help me to hate even the small sins in my life enough to actually want Him to change them.

Join me. Time to get out the Nail Polish Remover. 

I want to be a pig...

So, when my husband talks about prospective employees he talks about chickens and pigs. Chickens give a part of themselves (eggs) but Pigs give everything (bacon).

So in the Bible story of Ruth, the Moabite woman who decides to follow her mother in law Naomi to a new country and new faith, Ruth is the pig (bear with me). Orpah is the chicken. She started to follow but was then convinced by Naomi to turn around. Orpah used "wisdom", she did what any of us would do ("God wouldn't want me to suffer") and she listened to the advice she received from those around her, did a risk assesment and decided to stay behind.

To be honest nowhere does it say that she had a bad life because of her choice. She probably had a very good life. But because of her decision to go all the way with God, Ruth received the blessing of a new husband and being in the lineage of Jesus, the Messiah.

In today's terms, Ruth was the "Jesus freak". And she was rewarded.

The point is. I am more often than not Orpah. I want to be Ruth. I want to say: Where You go I'll go, where You stay I'll stay. And mean it.

I want to be a pig.